In around two months I'm going to become a parent for the first time.
Am I excited? Yes.
Am I peeing my pants with fear? Also yes.
Because what if I'm a terrible parent? I'm trying to do everything right. I'm thinking about safety and nutrition and educational value. I'm not planning on neglecting my baby or absent-mindedly leaving him on a train. But that doesn't mean it won't all go horribly wrong. Because presumably, through no fault of their own, some people just aren't very good at bringing up children. And I might be one of them.
I'm sure everyone who's expecting a baby for the first time goes through the same thought processes, but that doesn't make me any the less anxious. I'm about to cross the invisible line that separates parents from children. I have absolutely no idea what it's like over there, and no number of reassuring/terrifying/helpful stories from people who have already crossed can change that. It's like I'm emigrating to a country I've never visited, all the while knowing I can never come back. An adventure, but a pretty damn scary one.
Still, I have my partner by my side. I have people I can turn to for advice. And I also have one fundamental thing in my favour: I already love this baby, even though I haven't met him yet.
I guess that will have to be enough.